Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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