You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
