My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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