I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
