who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
