the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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