And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
