five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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