he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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