didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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