Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
