if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
