White coat. Heels.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
