I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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