It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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