508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
