called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
