I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
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Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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