You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize