Its about making memories worth repressing
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
