i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
