Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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