you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
