no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
