You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
