Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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