dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
