ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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