yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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