You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm jealous of your bromance
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
