One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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