Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
