So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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