if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
