me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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