It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
