batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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