I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
