So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
