her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
