I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize