FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
