Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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