I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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