I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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