Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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