I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
