These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
