How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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