I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
