We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.