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Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
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