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• (212): View more from New York

  btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.

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  29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?

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• (631): View more from New York

  Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.

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  21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works

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• (760): View more from California

  I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  How bad was it?

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?

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