I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize